The TriDad Life

Dear Beanpod,

When you become a father, people are constantly giving you tips and perspective from their own experiences. One of the things that everyone says is that it all goes by really quick. We are only 2 months into this new life with you, and I can already feel it. Recently, I’ve had a few work days where I’ve been out for an extended period, and I find myself really missing you. I’m joyful to return home to pick you up in my arms, only to have the sense that you’ve grown just a little, and that these moments are fleeting. I want to hang on.

It’s been hard to find time to write with everything going on, but I don’t lament that. It just means that we are too busy making the memories that are worth writing about. As luck would have it, this morning, I found another window to write about a recent memory we made together, and what it made me think about.

Two weeks ago now, we celebrated Thanksgiving. It is a wonderful American tradition that dates back hundreds of years to the original settlers that came all the way from across the ocean to this new land (at least new to them) to find a better life for them and their families.

Fast forward hundreds of years later, we are here celebrating the modern holiday of Thanksgiving. There are so many traditions that make up Thanksgiving for our family – we watch football, we prepare and eat a lot of food, we try to find some time to exercise to recover from all the food.

And of course, we try to “give thanks for all that we have.” It’s a simple concept I guess. Thanksgiving is about giving thanks. When I looked around this Thanksgiving, I was moved by just how thankful I really am this year for all that we’ve been given, and how I can see our blessings multiplying from year to year.

One thing you’ll find, beanpod, is that you are part of a BIG family. When your Mom and I got married, this was more than just the joining of two people. It was the joining of two families, the Benders and the Redfords. Both sides bring a lot to the table. The real meat of the holiday season is not the turkey, but the quality time spent with family.

This year, we got to introduce you as (one of) the newest family members of your family. On the Redford side, it was so special to introduce you to your cousin, Noelle, and many of your aunts and uncles that your Dad has known for all his life. These were precious moments that we will cherish forever.

Now, the Bender side is, well, quite a bit bigger. Your Grandpa Mike was one of 7 kids, and all of those kids had kids, and now those kids are having kids…the math is crazy, and as you are already finding, the people are, too! This year, you and I participated in our first “Bender Family Hayride,” which goes back generations. The family gets together at Uncle Frank and Aunt Cathy’s, Uncle Ed hitches a hay wagon to his truck, and drives us around the country roads outside of Frankenmuth. And of course, after it’s all said and done, we eat a lot of food…

Throughout the days of Thanksgiving this year, looking around at this wonderful family, some of whom I’ve known for all of my life, some of whom I’m just getting to know, I couldn’t help but ponder just how it all could possibly have come to be in my life.

When I think about it, it all began with a simple but profound choice a long time ago. In 1998, a quarter of a century ago, my parents, your grandparents, decided to move our family to Frankenmuth from the metro Detroit area. At the time, my Dad was working as a news reporter for a TV station in Detroit. Your uncles and I were young boys. We had a good life, we were happy.

But I believe at that time, my parents had a sense that maybe there was a better situation out there for their family. Maybe there could be a way where my Dad could spend more time with his kids instead of being pulled into the 24 hour news cycle of a big city market. Maybe there was an opportunity to go somewhere that the pace was different. A place where the family could go where the kids would really thrive.

What your grandma and grandpa saw was that this life could be possible in a place like Frankenmuth, Michigan. And all those years later, here we are, enjoying hayrides and eating turkey with our friends and family in Frankenmuth. These moments spent together at this most recent Thanksgiving don’t just happen, they aren’t coincidence – they are 25 years in the making.

What’s exciting for me now is that it’s my turn to be Dad. Like my father, what I want more than anything is to make sure you have the best life possible. You’ll find in time just how lucky you are to be from a place like Frankenmuth. We really are blessed here. You’ve got an amazing start.

As the book closes on this Thanksgiving, and we are rounding the bases to Christmas and headed towards home for the beginning of yet another new year, your Dad is filled with optimism and hope for the future. The best is yet to come.

Love,

Dan