The TriDad Life

Dear Beanpod,

This morning, I turned the countdown blocks over to 50. We are 50 days out from your due date. We got a great picture of your face last week from inside your mother’s womb. You are almost here.

Today, I wanted to talk to you about something that you’ll find out about after you get out here. It’s something that can be a little hard to talk about. There is an element of life that you don’t realize you signed up for at the beginning.

The truth is, when we started using the countdown blocks to mark the beginning of your life, at the same time, another countdown began in parallel. This countdown works a bit different than the blocks. We can’t really track it – we only know that its going on, and that eventually it will end.

What I’m trying to talk about here is death. The hard truth that eventually, our life will come to an end.

Now, God willing, we won’t need to address this in great detail for some time. But I’m writing to you about it now because I want my letters to be genuine, and lately I’ll admit I’ve been finding myself thinking a bit more about death.

I simply love to be alive. I enjoy the exploration of a new day, and of course the adventures into new and unknown parts of the world. Most of all, I really love to be around my friends and family.

I think that I’m thinking about death more recently in part because there have been reminders here and there of just how fragile life can be. You start to hear about things more often. A friend has a near-death experience. A friend of a friend passes on. Family members move on to the other side. At your father’s age now, these instances just become more and more regular.

The most likely reason that death is coming to my mind is that I’ve never desired to be alive and stay alive more now than ever before. I want to watch you grow up. I want to be around for you to roll your eyes at my Dad jokes, and to be there when you get your first job and meet your mate and maybe even be part of the family you might start someday. I want to be there for all the things.

Amongst all these thoughts spinning around in my head, what I’m noticing is that my prayers have become simpler. I’m starting to just thank God for another chance to go out into the world for another day to experience, to be with your Mom, and our friends and family. To simply be alive and healthy, to be able to be present to be your Dad.

So, beanpod, while the countdown clock of your life and my life and the lives of all those around us will always be running in the background, I want you to know that it’s ok. It doesn’t have to be something that holds us back, or to live in constant fear of. In fact, when we acknowledge it, and pray about it, it gives us the opportunity to appreciate what is really important.

To be alive, to give and receive love. That is the true beauty of life.

Thanks for giving me an opportunity to put my life in perspective.

See you soon, our beanpod.

Love,

Your Dad